Pathetic!!!!!

God I am so useless! I binged then binged some more calories I don't know somewhere in the millions probably. What is my current obsession with mash potato and gravy. God I hate myself no wonder I am such a useless fat nothing.  And the sad thing is I will probably die a useless fat nothing because I can't stop shoveling food down my fucking throat. That is it I am not allowed to binge anymore unless I purge it all up straightaway and as I hate purging maybe it will deter me. The food made me feel ill I could of purged but I didn't. I even started sweating as soon as I finished eating. Why is it I start making headway and then I sabotage myself , everytime.  I really do hate myself. I wish I could go to sleep and cease to exist.

JB
xoxo

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