Saturday, 17 June 2017

Triggered!

Hi Lovelies,

It's been awhile. Where to start?

Well I put the weight back on from the fast of course. Back to 136 kgs and nothing much has changed. I have recently gotten intowater kefir and soon I will start with kombucha. Trying to fix my gut health.

I got the new job which I love. Work with a great bunch of people. Plus I am getting paid more so yay.

Other news is my 12 year old step-daughter has an ED. I'm not sure how long its been going on but she lost 3 kgs in a week. She only weighed like 50 kgs before anyways. Now she is active and already thin. She is into dance which is probably feeding the obsession.  We went out to dinner last night and when they put the plate in front of her, I saw the fear flash across her face. Long story short I am heartbroken for her.

Sickingly I'm so triggered by it all. I'm aware of how fucked up that all is but I don't care and already working down my calories as we speak.

So I went and tried on wedding dresses about 6 weeks ago and it was awful. It broke me. I felt so far from beautiful. I broke down when I got home. I didn't want to starve myself again. I confessed all my ed stuff to my fiance. I bared all. Except for this blog. I told him I am not ready for him to read this. I don't think I ever will.

So that's my pathetic catch-up. Still a fat loser who will probs just fail at this again.

JB

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Hi Lovelies,

Day 7! Thank god only 3 days left to go. I am really struggling now. Only lost 200 grams since yesterday. Getting bummed about these small numbers. Still 4.3 kgs in a week is awesome.

Day 6 was hard. Felt weak, exhausted and hungry. My brain was not there at all. Stuffed up so many phone calls lol.

Other bizarre news, new people started at work yesterday and one is a friend for like 14 years that I lost touch with. It was so cool and it was like no time had passed at all.

Well gotta go get ready.

Love JB xoxo

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Hi Lovelies,

Day 6! Well I lost 1/2 kg so yay bit bigger number. So far 4.1 kgs. Does not look like I will be hitting my goal of 10 kgs in 10 days. As long as I can get under the 130's I will be moderately happy.

Day 5 went alright nothing major to report. Job interview went fine I think, will have to wait until I hear back to know for sure.

Well I have absolutely nothing exciting to say today just feeling flat and hungry.

Love JB xoxo

Monday, 10 April 2017

Hi Lovelies,

Day 5! Stupid body is resisting change. Last two days only lost 200 grams each day. Oh well at least it is going down. Eventually tmy body will stop being stubborn and the numbers should start falling.

Day 4 went pretty well. Didn't feel too much hunger. Work was ok. Brain went awry at points and I forgot what I was saying. Got a headache later in the day that dissipayed eventually.

Have a job interview this morning and need to leave in 4 mins so better go and chug my breakfast glass down.

Love JB xoxo

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Hi lovelies,

Day 4! Only lost 200 grams but it was inevitably going to slow down for a day or two. Still 3.4 kgs in 3 days is awesome.

Ok so update on day three. It was pretty good spent most of the day expelling the effwcts of the senna and salt water flush. Cooked the family a gorgeous meal. Sat at the table with them getting tortured all the while Im sipping on my master cleanse drink.  Folded what felt like ten loads of washing and went to bed. More nightmares all night so still detoxing.

I have work today so will be interesting to see how night time goes whilst at work.

Well check in tomorrow peeps.

Love JB xoxo

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Hi Lovelies,

Day 3! Down another 1.2kgs. 3.2kgs so far.

Ok back to day 2. Woke feeling great. Had a high for hours. Made work bearable enough. Although i cheated and had a coffee. Cannot do that job without a coffee.

Felt abit tired when I got home but was still able to get stuff done around the house like wash the dogs and now they smell and feel lovely.

Night time was torture! I was really feeling the hunger. The fam had KFC and omg the smells. I excused and removed myself and hid in the bedroom watching youtube while they ate lol.

Have been having terrible nightmares so defs detoxing.

Well I will update tomorrow for how today went!

Love JB xoxo
Hi Lovelies,

Master Cleanse Day 2! Lost 2kgs in the first 24 hours. The day was easy. Come night the will power got a workout. No real detoxing happened in during the first day!

Will update how day 2 went tomorrow.

Love JB
Xoxo