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Showing posts from June, 2012
Thank god my appetite has gone again. Yesterday was good only consumed 535 calories. Today has been good so far only 73 calories and its 6pm. Gonna have a work out soon. Woot!!!! Feels good to be empty. My libido is back something fierce too which is great. I am more motivated when it is fired up, plus I have a boy coming over to play with next week so need to get as firm and stomach as flat as I can in 5 days. I worked out that it is 28 weeks until my birthday and I have 28 kgs to lose so 1kg a week is totally reachable. Hellz Yeah girls I'm back.
Sorry I have been slack. I just find it so had to post for some reason. Things have been ok. Intakes not so much more days then not feel like I am having to eat more then I want to keep up appearances. I weighed in and was only 1kg less then when I weighed in weeks ago so the damage calorie wise of late obviously is bad. I have so many boys in my life right now. The one's who want me but I don't want them. And then the ones I want who don't want me. Well they want me sexually but no more than that. I am cool with one not sure if I really want him any ways I think I was just enjoying it because it was new and exciting and nice to feel wanted but not sure his personality suits mine. The other though is quite different we are friends and it was a mutual decision to keep it as no strings attached but last time I saw him something changed. He took my breath away, almost like I was seeing him for the first time. He is beautiful. This is shit as I know it will never happen between
What is wrong with me. Another day where I was good until 6pm then ate and ate and ate. I must be binging due to exam stress but still I don't want to gain a whole bunch just because I am stresses this is not acceptable. I am still to do a calorie count for yesterday. I will get to it soon gotta get my kid ready he is getting looked after until tomorrow so I can study in peace. Well that's all for now. JB xoxo

Hideous Beast

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That is what I felt like yesterday. A monster uncontrollably shoving food into my disgusting face. I was doing ok until about 4pm when I was making my son peanut butter on toast. I licked the knife and that was it, something came over me and I started easting and eating and eating until midnight. I am still not sure what triggered it. I had no thoughts about binging that day, I wasn't feeling particularly hungry. Ok   so since my cousin arrived on Monday have not done the best food wise. She left Wednesday night so the last two days are all in me. Not everyday was tragic but still. Here is what it looks like. Monday: Consumed 444 calories. Burned 218. Net calories = 226 Tuesday: Consumed 1531. Burned Nothing Wednesday: Consumed 2304. Burned 1740. Net Calories = 564 Thursday: Consumed 683. Burned Nothing Friday: Consumed 2626. Burned Nothing. So yeah up and down. Yesterday was truly horrible though even cut my upper arms up. I should take comfort that merely 6 months ago
Thought I would write a post while downloading some music to clean to. Plus I won't be able to post for a few days while my cousin is here. Well been doing ok, two days ago my intake was 708 with 218 burned. Yesterday was 587 nothing burned but that is ok. I love having my cousin here she is thinspiration. Well that is all I got for now. Hope everyone is doing alright. JB xoxo
Last two day's have been awesome. Both under 350 calories with exercise added on top. I still have no idea how much I weigh but I am making sure that when I step on the scales again I will be happy with the result. I am about to ride my bike to the shops to buy some supplies. Gonna hurt but pain is good. I lost all my tone during the semester. Far too wobbly and disgusting. Just trying to work out my calories for the day because not knowing does my head in lol must stay under 350 and that will mean I will be in defecit today which will totally rock. Well hope you lovelies are kicking arse. JB xoxo
Ok so I went away and stayed with family for a few days. First day was good 724 calories, second day was shit 1359 calories, third day was a fucking disaster and I stopped counting at 1706 calories. Yesterday I was back to controlling myself 579 calories consumed and 471 calories burnt walking.Today not sure if I will get time to exercise but I am cleaning so plenty of moving. So far I am doing good it's 2:30pm and I have only had 67 calories. Am aiming for no more then 350 calories today. Another busy day tomorrow. Actually I am busy for a few days now. Have my cousin coming tonight which is exciting. Well must keep going. JB xoxo
Feeling really good. Yesterday's intake was * drum-roll* 599 Calories yahoo! So far 2 day's kept under control. I am feeling really positive about going away today as well because I made all the food that I need for two days so I know how much calories are in things. I have no excuse if I fuck up. Not going to the theme park Monday can't find my son's pass grrrrrrrr. But that is ok will find something else to do. Got to start getting ready soon and head off. Hope you all have a positive weekend. JB xoxo P.S. Not knowing my weight is killing me