Grin for Thin

Yay finally got through my plateau and lost 1kg. Managed to keep calories yesterday under 300 so happy about that. Not eating too much today is going to be easy as I have been at uni since this morning and won't get home til after 5 due to exam. Tomorrow is concerning though as I will be home all day with my son, boyfriend and his kids so will habe to be appear as if I am eating gah. Need to cime up with a sneaky food disposal method where I can take food into my room as if I am eating it and stash it til I get the chance to throw it away in the big bins. Well better get back to revising. God I hate exams. JB Xoxo

Yesterday was hard. I was hungry all day and then extremely cranky in the evening. I really wanted to binge. I kinda did but managed to stay under 1000 calories, I hit a total of 931 calories yesterday. I am not beating myself up too much over it, it was better then it would have been if I had eaten what I wanted to eat which was mac 'n' cheese and honey crumpets. So instead I scoffed out on pickles, celery, ryvitas and hummus. Then I scoffed two iced donuts, 1/4 of a muesli bar and a 80 calorie marshmallow lolly. I was really craving chocolate because it is my time of the month so in retrospect I should have made myself a low calorie hot chocolate. Oh well it really could have been worse. Still no change on the scales though but I shouldn't complain I have lost 3.8 kgs this week, which I think is something like 8lbs or 1/2 a stone. At least next week I can start exercising I haven't been able to do much because I have been studying for this exam tomorrow which I totall

Dammit my boyfriend insisted that he would cook dinner for us because I have been so good on my diet all week I deserved a treat gah. I tried to get out of it but it didn't work. Yesterday was supposed to be a 200 calorie day and instead was 850 and now after 3 days of eating around the 800 mark I have plateaued out grrr. So today is definitely a 200 calorie day. Well I better go study now. JB  

Well I ate 800 calories yesterday instead of 600 I was starving when I came home in between lectures. I lost another 800 grams so thats 3.8 kgs loss since Friday. I really want to get down to 112.5kgs by this Friday which was my original starting weight. So I need to lose another 1.8 kgs by in the next two days that should be doable since I am so large atm. Another huge day of studying for an exam today well actually for the rest of the week but that is good cos it helps me not think about food. My mum is away atm the moment and boyfriend is at work all week, and son is at school so don't need to worry about food during the day. This weekend should be ok as my boyfriends kids are coming over and that will keep him busy and not focused on me. Well I better go and start studying. JB xoxo

Well lost 3kgs so far so not a bad start. Made a whoops yesterday and misread the calorie count on a food item so ended having my 800 calorie day on my 600 calorie day. So today I will have my 600 day lol it is now the 2,4,8,6 diet for me. Well new uni semester starts for me today gah so not ready yet! Well better go get ready poo! JB

Well I did really well on my 200 calories day the other day and not so good on the 400 calorie day gah, turned out to be more like 4000 ewww. I took my son to a birthday party and they insisted I have cake and yeah then I was tired and decided to get my son a happy meal for dinner on the way home and succumbed to a meal too. But at least I got up yesterday and started the 2,4,6,8 again instead of continuing eating crap like I have been for months. I have tried the healthy methods of dieting and I get more hungry eating 1300 calories a day then I do when I eat 300, then I binge out at night cos I can't handle it. Well today is 400 cal day and I have a huge pot of cabbage soup on the stove.  So good that it is a week day again and my boyfriend is at work, he kept trying to feed me yesterday, I just told him I had a stomach ache and didn't feel like eating. I ate dinner with was only 173 calories so all was good, cos he saw me eating and he was fine then. So this is my new pl

God I am hopeless. I have ballooned out of control. I am at a massive 118kg's or 260lbs. My highest weight ever. I have tried to do weight-loss healthily but always fail. Restricting works for me, I enjoy that feeling of emptiness  Yes I know it is not healthy and blah blah blah but I don't care anymore, I can't stay this fat. I am going to Europe in 11 months so I need to lose nearly 60kgs by then. If I can average around 1.4kgs per week I can achieve it. I have started the 2, 4, 6, 8 diet today it's my first attempt at this but I have read how other girls have lots of success with it. I am feeling so trapped by life right now, I need to escape into my ED to feel like I can breath again. Wish me luck JB