OMG WTF happened?????

Like seriously I have no idea. There I was one minute fine and strong then the next I was scarfing down food in a mall. Which I never do because I hate eating in front of people. But it didn't stop there I brought more food to take home for the mega binge. I didn't even purge any of it up. Now I am riddled with guilt not just from the binge but from the fact I ate the marshmallows I had for trick or treaters which have gelatine. I feel like a poor excuse of a vegan and a human being today. I have never binged with animal products since I have been vegan, I cannot believe I let my morals drop. I am ashamed and disgusted with my self. I took a lot of laxatives and had bad tummy pains during the night and trips to the toilet. I embraced it all, I deserved it. They are still working through me and I am still getting moments of being bent over in pain and it is good. I think I can safely say that my chances of being at my FGW in 5 days are gone. I am liquid fasting until sunday, as sunday I know will be an eating day. I gained 300 grams from my binge which I am surprised, should have been more. But no more messing about I have to get as mch weight off as possible, it will be xmas soon and I will be required to eat then and I know I will gain a few. Well today I am going to clean my place, do some study and exercise. All I will have is coffee, tea, water and V8 juice.

JB
xoxo

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