Grin for Thin

.Hi Lovelies,  Having a bad end of the week. The work function Thursday night was a write off. I got so drunk. I ate and I gained 400 grams. Then Friday I was so hungover at work it was putrid. Found out in the aftrrnoon that my dogs were missing. I called all these different places finally tracked them down at the local vets. They were in a car accident. One is ok just a few scrat hes. One has a broken leg amd needs surgery. Going cost us like $5k. Been emotionaly eating and somehow managed to lose 400 grams. Hoping I can just maintain this weekend. Have to go now bf is coming. Much love JB Xoxo

Hi Lovelies, Today has been a mixture of good and bad. Bad is that I failed my last exam for economics so I have to d ok it again. And my destructive dogs got out of the yard. Lucky my neighbour rang and put them back in but now I'll be stressed until I can make sure its fixed properly. I have a work function tonight with food and booze around. I have to wear a dress and try and glamorous but I won't because I'll look like a whale in a sheet. I will have a few champagnes and try my best to exert my willpower and say no to food. The good is that I lost 2.2kgs since yesterday. Lost 3.1kgs in 3 days whoo. Calories were only 358 or something because I decided I was too tired and could skip dinner. Today I will have consumed 180 calories by the time I get to the function. Then another 300-400 for drinks and I should be able to see this day through on 600 cals max. I must be strong. Please be strong. I really want to be in the 116's by tomorrow. It will be my lowest wei

I feel so alone. I'm always surroundedby people but I feel apart from everyone. Especially at work where I don't fit in any of the cliques. Feels like school again where I am the loner. Maybe there is something so flawed in me that is apparent to everyone else. I hear them all laugh amd jave fun around me and I get jealous. Then I think to myself fuck you all Ill make sure I'm the skinniest here. They're all snarky bitches anyways so give them something to hate me about. When I'm at home my family wants to spend time with me but I want to be alone. I feel so disconnected. I feel awful for thinking this but I feel burdoned. In reality all my dreams are coming true. All my hard work is paying off but I feel nothing except self doubt and self hatred. I believe that I can't ever be happy. My mind won't let me. I should go back on antidepressants but I am scared that I'll feel less then I do now. Other news yesterday wasnt great 1100 cals but mostly that

Hi Lovelies, Omg its been too long. How long I cant remember.  I believe I was still at my internship and being sad about finishing up there. Well I finished and the next day got a phonecall from my internship supervisor about a job going at a TV network. So I called about that and had an interview the next day. I was surprised at how my nervousness dissapated once I got there and felt I aced the interview. On the way home on the train I got a call and got offered the job. That was on a Friday and I started on a Tuesday. Now its been nearly 6 weeks. I like it and being in corporate is where I wanted to be but my self-confidence demons are out in full force. Im recieving positive feedback and they are happy withe but I feel like I don't fit it and that I'm not getting it. Which has impacted my eating. I gain a little, I lose a little and so the merry go round  goes. I need to sort my shit out and lose weight. I am nowjere close to any of my grad hoals which is in two weeks. So