Oh there you are you tricky lil cupcakes.
Ok well now the scales are showing a gain. I guess it was a little delayed for the cupcakes to show. I had a 200 grams gain. Not heartbroken because I expected it just disappointed in myself. Yesterday I ate more then I should but then I am always hungry after a binge and I ended up eating 614 calories for the day.
*WARNING* The next paragraph is going to be me bitching and whining. Skip if you wish.
Ok so here it is. My mother is coming to stay for 3 whole fucking days fuck fuck fuckity fuck. How much am I going to gain in this time????? I know it sounds like a cop out but besides keeping up appearances so not to rouse any suspicion, she triggers me. She always makes me feel shit about myself. I got kicked out when I was 13 and only when I moved back in at 16 did I start gaining weight. And it happens every time we live together I start gaining. I will try to behave and stay under 1000 calories but in all honesty I am not feeling strong. She was pissing me off yesterday when I mentioned I want to decorate my place for my sons birthday, in which she replied "he won't care he is 5". Well mum I care. I want my son to have happy memories of his childhood that he can treasure. Not ones he needs to bury. She always does stuff like this and tries to diminish the important events in life. To the point where I went off at her a few years ago and put my foot down and told her it is not acceptable to book clients on his birthday. She is a massage therapist btw and she can book them in anytime. No matter what I will never be a mother like her.
Ok rant over now to the good news. I have made it so I cannot have cake because I made it with eggs and and dairy and I am a strict vegan yay. And I am making alot of healthy snacks today. Like vegetable sticks and hummus. So I can nibble and appear as if I am eating the right amount. I cannot wait for him to open all his presents, I went overboard this year but I do not care he is going to love them.
Well in case I don't get a chance to blog for the next few days, stay strong my lovelies :)
JB
xoxoxoxoxo
*WARNING* The next paragraph is going to be me bitching and whining. Skip if you wish.
Ok so here it is. My mother is coming to stay for 3 whole fucking days fuck fuck fuckity fuck. How much am I going to gain in this time????? I know it sounds like a cop out but besides keeping up appearances so not to rouse any suspicion, she triggers me. She always makes me feel shit about myself. I got kicked out when I was 13 and only when I moved back in at 16 did I start gaining weight. And it happens every time we live together I start gaining. I will try to behave and stay under 1000 calories but in all honesty I am not feeling strong. She was pissing me off yesterday when I mentioned I want to decorate my place for my sons birthday, in which she replied "he won't care he is 5". Well mum I care. I want my son to have happy memories of his childhood that he can treasure. Not ones he needs to bury. She always does stuff like this and tries to diminish the important events in life. To the point where I went off at her a few years ago and put my foot down and told her it is not acceptable to book clients on his birthday. She is a massage therapist btw and she can book them in anytime. No matter what I will never be a mother like her.
Ok rant over now to the good news. I have made it so I cannot have cake because I made it with eggs and and dairy and I am a strict vegan yay. And I am making alot of healthy snacks today. Like vegetable sticks and hummus. So I can nibble and appear as if I am eating the right amount. I cannot wait for him to open all his presents, I went overboard this year but I do not care he is going to love them.
Well in case I don't get a chance to blog for the next few days, stay strong my lovelies :)
JB
xoxoxoxoxo
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