Grin for Thin

So it begins uni starts back today. Wouldn't be so bad but I pinched a nerve in my neck 4 days ago and it is still killing me, so the idea of sitting in uncomfortable chairs for 4 hours is not doing it for me. I cancelled my booty call the other night because of it oh and the gym assessment now I have to wait until next Monday for that. I am going to go for a swim and sun bake after uni today and might have my booty call tomorrow. Right now I am too sore to care. But my mother left yesterday so yay can get back on track now. Yesterday was 800 calories. JB xoxo

Hi girls!!! I finally have a chance to post quickly on here. Ok with the exception of yesterday (2186) I have behaved myself with food and kept my calories within 1000-1200 per day while mum's been here. I am pretty proud of myself for this. I have no idea what I weigh atm scales are still stuffed. I joined the gym the other day and am having an assessment in 2 days so I will find out then. I am scared. On other news a friend who is a guy whom I have had sex with a few times invited me around to his tomorrow night for some "fun" so am looking forward to that but also very nervous as it has been a long time since we have done anything, like over  a year. So tomorrow I am eating as little as possible so hopefully my stomach will be as flat as I can get it. Thanks girls for the lovely comments you are treasures. JB xoxo

Oh the horror :o my scales are broken so I don't know how much I weigh fuck fuck. This is killing me and I cannot buy a new one for at least a week. Well the past 2 days were okish considering. Friday I consumed 990 calories and burnt off 940 leaving me with 50 calories net for the day. Yesterday I consumed 1,158 calories and burnt off 260 leaving me with 898 calories for the day. The worst news of all is that my mother is staying here for over a week nooooooooo. I am determined not to stack it back on while she is here. Today I am restricting as hard as I can. I am not going over 500 calories today no matter what. Will not be hard as she is out for the day. I will be away all day Tuesday so I won't have to eat much and possibly Wednesday plus I plan on joining the gym this week (hope they have scales there). Might start going for afternoon/evening walks again. Well got more family coming over. JB xoxo

Gah missed the 500 gram loss by 100 grams haha. Not to phased I have lost 2.6 kgs in 3 days which is pretty epic. The 600-800 calories seems to working well for me. I have semi worked out that I will burn at least 950 calories today so that makes me feel less stressed about the fact I will have to eat hot chips for lunch. I will be gone until tomorrow night but then mum will be staying that night so probably won't be able to weigh in or get on here until Sunday or Monday eeeek. But then I think I am free from family and stuff for awhile and I will be at the gym next week cannot wait. I was looking through catalogues  yesterday and there were these cute skinny jeans. I doubt I will be ready for skinny jeans this winter but next winter its on!!!!!. Well better hurry up and go. JB xoxo 16th of February Food Breakfast: Banana smoothie (195) Lunch: 4 rice cakes with soy cream cheese, avocado, tomato and alfalfa (287) Dinner: Soup (100) Snacks: Peaches (38), Apple (72), tea wit

As the title suggests I am not a morning person. I have to get up every morning but I do not derive any pleasure. Although since giving up the coffee I am no longer a snappy bitch in the morning which my son enjoys. I lost another 900 grams amazing. But alas I started my periods last night and after too days of massive weight loss I am not expecting much tomorrow (although secretly I am hoping for 500 grams). So a bit put off as I have to go spend time with family again from tomorrow until Sunday which means eating. Although tomorrow we are going to a theme park which limits my food choices as I am vegan I will suffer hot chips and hope I burn it off with the at least 4 hours of walking that will be undertaken whilst there. Then I am just to try and have only salads for dinner and lunches post tomorrow and for breakfast I will stick with my smoothies. I have 6.5 kgs to lose for my February 28th deadline do not think it is possible but I am still going to try my hardest. JB xoxo 15

First off thank you  Christina  and  Nasimiyu  for the support your the best. Well lost 1.3 kgs since yesterday very impressed. I was getting scared as I was creeping closer back to the 100kg mark and I never want to be in triple digits again. Had nightmares so feeling a little out of sorts right now but it will pass I am still half asleep. I have been off the coffee now for 9 days, enjoying the fact that half my daily calories are no longer getting consumed by coffee and that I am no longer caffeine's bitch. I am still suffering the headaches though. Well I better get my son ready and off to school now. Ciao for now. JB xoxo 14th of February Food Breakfast: Banana Smoothie (195) Lunch: 4 thin rice cakes with soy cream cheese, avocado, tomato and alfalfa (353) Dinner: Soup (67) Snacks: 2 peaches (76) and a1 1/2 dragon fruit (90)  Exercise Done some walking round with heavy stuff but don't know what that burnt so I am going to say none. Total net calories: 781 

Ok so weighed in today and gained 600 grams since yesterday, it is time to cease the self-loathing and bingeing. So this time I am being sensible and lowering my calorie intake less drastic so I don't give in to binges. Eating super healthy and drinking plenty of water. So my calorie intake atm is going to be set at 600-800 calories and then when I feel that is too much I will drop it down to 400-600 and then get back under 350 again. I am finally joining the gym next week cannot wait. Also I got a sprouting kit so I am going to be eating lots of sprouts which are really low in calories. And wow I have 2 more new followers thanks girls :). JB xoxo

Been away for the weekend ate gained more. None of my family members even noticed that I was 15 kgs lighter then when they saw me last. Got family coming over today will probably have to eat, hope they are gone by tomorrow then I can at least lose a bit in the 3 day's before yet more family stuff. They are killing me. I yearn for uni to start even though I know I will not be at the weight I wanted to start back with but it will be easier to restrict and I will be at the gym so hopefully I will get some dramatic weight loss then. Well I am going to clean up before they all get here. JB xoxo

I am do depressed. I was so angry and down yesterday after the gain I went and binged and purged in the day time which I have never done before. Continued to eat low cals for the rest of the day except for 2 pieces of garlic bread with dinner. Part of me is in fuck it mode but part of me is still fighting for weight loss. I caved in and ate breakfast before, a bowl of cereal nearly 300 calories fuck. I only 300 grams since yesterday. Well my plans have changed on the master cleanse since it is getting interrupted by the weekend. So I am going to stop for now and resume on Monday when I get back. My mother is coming tomorrow and driving us and the cake down to the family's for the birthday. I wonder if they will notice I have lost weight? I can't really, my clothes tell me I have but when I look in the mirror I just see a worthless fat blob. Going to do a salt water flush tomorrow to get as much grossness out of me as I can. Well I better get working on this cake. JB xoxo 8

Woke up and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I am still all sunburnt from yesterday and really bloated gah. I had a bad dream last night where I hopped on the scales and had lost no weight. Well my dream was a hell of a lot kinder then reality somehow I gained 1.2 kgs. I mean wtf I didn't binge yesterday, yes I did eat a lil more but I exercised and still came in with calorie deficits. How did I gain? I just want to crawl into bed and sleep the day away in avoidance but sadly I have to much to do. Well I am too sad to write anymore. JB xoxo 7th of February Food Breakfast: None Lunch: Dairy free mango smoothie (287) Dinner: Store brought vege soup (118), 1 cup of master cleanse (113) Snacks: Juice (79), tea's (7) Exercise 45 mins moderate pace walking (232), 45 mins swimming leisurely (421) Total net calories: -49

OMG I lost 1.2kgs since yesterday totally amazing, bringing me to needing to lose 5.1 kgs by the 28th. On other news I really need to stop this binge and purgeing nonsense I am falling into. So I am relenting and going to make a low cal soup to control the binges. I am very disappointed in my will atm, I feel strong and resolved all day and then at night time crumble gah. Well my plans have changed for the week I now have my cousins birthday on the weekend which I must make the cake for so after today I will be working on that. Today is a me day, going to go swim and sunbake and then chillax in the library looking at the book THIN for some thinspo. Well lovelies have a good day. JB xoxo 6th of February Food Breakfast: None Lunch: 2 cups of master cleanse (226) Dinner: 1 cup of master cleanse (113) Snacks: Cups of tea (7) Exercise: None

Gah b/p again last night. Maybe jumping straight from a 2000+ calorie per day intake to 300-500 per day was a lil drastic but oh well I never do anything in half measures. I think today I will have more master cleanses so I don't binge tonight. I lost another 500 grams woohoo. Which brings to 6.3 kgs to lose by my February 28th. Just cannot wait to get out of the 90's now. Wonder if I can be there by the end of the week hmmm. So today is give up coffee day, having a green tea now instead. Not looking forward to the headaches but it would be good to not be chained to my caffeine addiction. Well that is all I got for now. JB xoxo 5th of February Food Breakfast: Cup of coffee (20) Lunch: 1 cup of master cleanse (113) Dinner: 2 cups of master cleanse (226) Snacks: 3 cups of tea (3) Exercise None Total net calories: 362

Woke up 45 mins ago still half asleep. Lost 600 grams since yesterday. 1.6kgs in 2 days is pretty good I suppose. It would not matter how much I lost it would still never be enough. The late night hungry's were back last night and I gave in and b/p gah. I hate purging so much. Won't be so bad today as I have my low cal sweetener and I can have as much tea as I want so if I am ever feeling hungry I will just make a cup of tea. Speaking of tea been looking for a beautiful tea cup, looked on ebay and all the ones I like are around $110 lol think I may need to check out antique centres and op shops. Also been looking at tea infusers there are some pretty cute ones out there. Well went for an hour bike ride yesterday, it nearly killed me I am so unfit. So plans today uhmmm make school snacks for my lil man. Not much else. Other plans for the week will be starting yoga again every morning after I drop my son off and working on some laptops for family members and starting to study and

Forgot to add yesterdays calories. 3rd of February Food Breakfast: 1 cup of coffee (58) Lunch: 1 cup of master cleanse (113) Dinner: 1 cup of master cleanse (113) Snack: cup of green tea (39) for sweetener Exercise None Total net calories: 323

Lost 1kg since yesterday bringing me to 7.4 kgs to lose by my February 28th deadline. I was alright most of the say yesterday but was hungry last night. I could have had another glass of master cleanse because I had only had 2 but was too tired to get up so I went to sleep. Feels good that I went to sleep on an empty stomach and not a full one. Have to go and buy more lemons and maple syrup today oh and my low cal sweetener for coffee and tea. I know I am not supposed to drink anything besides water but I can't do that. The sweetener I have in my house atm is 36 calories for 2 teaspoons and my low cal is only 1.2 calories, a must have. Other then that no real plans today. Well that is me. JB xoxo

And so it begins! So far only 1/4 through all the salt water I need to drink in the next 20 mins ewwwwwwww. Already want to vomit. Ok the scales were waiting for me this morning. 3.2 kgs gained since the 25th of January shit, although less then I expected. Ok so goal weight for the 28th of February is 88.5 kgs and I need to lose 8.4 kgs to reach that. Totally doable as long as I behave myself on the binge front. Food is not thy friend, food is thy enemy. Welcome to my 23rd follower :). If I am not following anyone's blog please let me know in the comment box I do not mean to neglect you. Well I best be off to chug down the rest of this vile mixture. JB xoxo

My mum finally left this afternoon. Now back to business. Tomorrow's plan salt water flush and start of master cleanse. I have done the master cleanse before and I love it 3-4 days of feeling less then average then after that feeling amazing. I will stay on it at least 10 days and on Monday I am going to attempt to give up coffee and become a strict tea only drinker. If I can cut out the milk in my diet that's 70 less calories a day. Not looking forward to the scales tomorrow morning. I feel that I have put on 5kgs so I am expecting to see 98kgs staring back at me. Thank you girls who commented on my last post I appreciate the support. JB xoxo