I feel so numb lately. Not depressed just numb. I do not want anyone around me, I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I have been deep in thought lately with things like am I following the right career path? Am I gay, straight, asexual? Where do I fit in in the world? In all honesty if I didn't have my son I would wander into the wild and disconnect from society, technology, responsibilities and just find myself. And although I know the world deems my eating behavior unhealthy I am totally at peace with it. It feels right!

On other news no problem keeping my cals at 1000 in fact in seems like far too much food. So time to start trimming things down. I lost 400grams since yesterday and am finally back to where I was 5 days ago before I went binge crazy. I didn't end up buying diuretics yesterday I ran out of cash. So my goal on 20kgs in 6 weeks does not seem like its going to happen still fingers crossed.

JB
xoxo

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