Well as I predicted as soon as I started restricting to under 1000 cals finally I would see a loss. It was only 1.1kgs and I cannot be sure how accurate it is as I had to use the scales at the doctors for mine are not working grrrrrrr. I haven't been that much under 1000 either Monday was only 996 and yesterday was 871. I imagine today will be kinda the same. I took some laxatives last night to have a clean out, lol TMI??? Anyways I am doing heaps more cleaning today so hopefully will burn more calories. Well I cannot think of much else to write right now. JB xoxo
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Hate this! And this is why I get discouraged by trying to lose weight the healthy way. So I have been eating good food, healthy and nutrient dense food. And........................ I am up 200 grams on the scales. Trying to figure out what drastic changes I can make today so I can see a loss tomorrow. I need it for morale if nothing else because I know if I don't see my weight go down I will say "fuck it" and go binge on nasty food and probably not diet again for awhile. Just got to eat under 1000 calories today. Somehow I will make this happen. I am charging up my jawbone again so I can keep track of my movements. I graduate in a year and I would love to be under 100kgs even if its 99.9kgs I need to lose 40 kgs in a year, that's a lot can I do it? I would love to lose more but not sure if that is possible. Well I am going to watch thin again and then spend the day doing housework and burning calories. JB xoxo
Sorry peeps! It feels that whenever I post a yay I'm restricting again comment I then binge the next day and fall back into over eating. I so want my ED to come back fully, gosh I miss it. I know that's crazy but it is true. Every thing in my life is so chaotic and out of control that maybe if I can work up to restricting again I'll get that sense of calm that comes with pure empty stomachs. Maybe now is a good time since my income has changed dramatically and next week I have $60 for groceries for myself and my son and fuel to get my son to school. I stood on the scales on Wednesday after I tried on a bunch of plus size dresses Tuesday and was super depressed. I currently weigh 139.5 kgs (307 lbs or nearly 22 stone) and I told myself that I will never allow myself to get to 140 kgs. So I started a diet that day. Its been going well and atm I am just trying to eat as clean as possible with only whole grain carbs like brown rice and minimal sugar which is my crack. I
Wow, over twelve months since I last posted anything on here. What can I say, I went away, stopped obsessing over food and got fat, like morbidly obese fat. I have never been so big in my life. At first I didn't care (at least that's the lie I told myself). I was happy, lost myself in my relationship and we both were content and both put on weight. Now I am not so content and it has nothing to do with him. The voice is back in my head........ Her voice. And oh how I have missed it. She opened her bony arms to me and I came running back to her, promising to do better this time, not to be weak and give up this time. the sad thing is I feel so much more at peace with myself and the world now I am active in my eating disorder again. So there it is I am back. Have been back for a few weeks, reading everyone's posts but feeling too unworthy to post anything myself. Unfortunately my body is rebelling my return and my weight loss has been pitiful. At the moment it is a Mexican