That's right bruise you fat bitch!
God I am so fucking hopeless I binged....... again.......... The cake mix I made was more like fucking cookie dough so I couldn't use the cakes, so instead of throwing them out like I should have I ate like 1/3 of one. No wonder I am such a useless fat slob who nobody could ever truly love. I purged and purged and purged until all I could taste was bile. I was still so fucking angry with myself that I went into a rage and started clawing and punching the shit out of myself. Downside is that I will have marks there now. I just know I am going to gain from that even though I purged the hardest I ever had in my life. I was not even hungry. I do not know why I did it.
Ok leaving my pity party now. So I have been thinking of what my UGW will be and I have decided on 58 kgs. That was how much I used to weigh when I actually liked my body. And being that I am 5"9 that will put me underweight yay. I have a long way to go well 45 kgs to be exact. I can do it I know I can. I can be there in six months as long as I lose no less then 1.73 kgs a week. I have lost 8.8 kgs in 4 weeks not my best ever effort but I am averaging 2.2 kgs a week. Maybe I will go lower than that but that's a good target to aim for. I just did some googling and found out that my UGW and my height is that of Anne Hathaway's and I always thought she looked nice and thin. Hmmm now I feel like watchign a devil wears prada. Well that's me for the day time to try and get some sleep.
JB
xoxoxo
P.S. And now some Anne Hathaway thinspo!
I love this shot, I do not know why something about her pose.
I chose this one because I will be entering the corporate world when I graduate and cannot wait to wear corporate suits like this.
Ok leaving my pity party now. So I have been thinking of what my UGW will be and I have decided on 58 kgs. That was how much I used to weigh when I actually liked my body. And being that I am 5"9 that will put me underweight yay. I have a long way to go well 45 kgs to be exact. I can do it I know I can. I can be there in six months as long as I lose no less then 1.73 kgs a week. I have lost 8.8 kgs in 4 weeks not my best ever effort but I am averaging 2.2 kgs a week. Maybe I will go lower than that but that's a good target to aim for. I just did some googling and found out that my UGW and my height is that of Anne Hathaway's and I always thought she looked nice and thin. Hmmm now I feel like watchign a devil wears prada. Well that's me for the day time to try and get some sleep.
JB
xoxoxo
P.S. And now some Anne Hathaway thinspo!
b/p is the worst :/
ReplyDeleteanyway, hope things are better and hope you reach your goals! xx