Feelings, oh I hate feelings!

OK so I weighed in and yep gained back 2.5kgs bugger! Am not surprised though, actually thought it would have been more. Ok so got my game face back on. I gotta go hard and fast for the next few days. Next week is going to suck my mum will be back here and I am going to a wedding for a few days so I will have to eat as they have gone out of their way to cater some vegan food for me. Honestly cannot see me getting under 100kgs by then. To be honest I have lost my drive and I am really depressed atm. I miss intimacy, I miss having a boyfriend. I keep trying to remind myself that I need to lose weight for that to happen because no one is going to want me looking like this. I saw this girl on the bus the other day she was sooooooo thin. I put my glasses on so I could stare at her without her knowing lol felt like a stalker, but she was gorgeous you could even see her spine popping out. Biggest real life thinspo ever. So plans today are to spend the day swimming with my son and then come home and <**WARNING TMI SECTION**> clean myself out with laxatives and clean the house. Hope everyone is feeling stronger then me atm.

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