Double digit followers!

Hi to my tenth follower and thankyou. Well I feel like crap. Food is evil and it genuinely makes me feel like shit. I feel tired and heavy and everything is just hard. Cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and restart the liquid fast woohoo bring it on and to get under 100 kgs. Have my major exam on Wednesday so all I will be doing is study and exercise and Thursday I will burn some serious calories cleaning cos my house is a trash heap. It would be a lie to say I ate guilt free today because I felt shame and guilt everytime I put something in my mouth. OMG so many carbs and sugars soooooo putrid. But a few people said I was looking good and that it was obvious I had lost some weight so that felt nice. On the downside I don't think the guy is into me :( . Well actually I think the fact that I have a child is the deal breaker for him and if so fuck him he doesn't deserve me or my son. I do not often talk about my son on here because I do feel guilty about my eating behaviors. I try really hard to make sure that when I do eat even if it is just V8 juice I have added hot water too that he does see it. I am scared that one day I might pass out in front of him and frighten him. I am trying to be smart about this by recognizing what my body is crying out for and giving it that. But I can't stop, I have to keep going. I need to get thinner it is so important that I do this. Tomorrow in the morning I feel like crap when I see the number I have probably gained 2 kgs. But I will get it off. Today was good in the sense that I ate and nothing tastes that good anymore, not with knowing the hard work that comes with getting it out and off my body after. Not with knowing the euphoria of feeling lighter and stronger everyday and the scales matching the emotion. I do think I totally understand the saying "nothing tastes as good as thin feels". Although I am not thin yet, I am thinner then I was a week ago and I feel pretty proud of that. Ok enough ramblings from me.

JB
xoxo