Yesterday was disastrous. I ate 1999 calories. I lost myself to a binge. We went to a pancake restaurant for brunch which caused so much anxiety in me I was unpleasant company. I ended up getting one vegan gluten free pancake and maple syrup and a garden salad. It wasn't to bad at that point. Adding that and the 2 coffees I was at 470.

Now the plan was to not eat again until dinner. Problem was we stopped at a candy warehouse to check it out. I thought I'd see if they had sugar free candy and if so grab some as I can only eat a small amount otherwise the sweeteners hurt my stomach.

This was where things went wrong. Found the sugar free candy unfortunately right next to the vegan candy. They had these vegan peanut butter cups which are so fucking good and I haven't seen them in years. So I got one of those, along with some white chocolate and some wine gums. Now I had one peanut butter cup in the car. 120 Cal's not bad and was going to save the one serve of white chocolate for dessert 55 Cal's.

Got home and urge to binge kicked in. I tried to control it by cutting up veges like celery, cucumber and bell peppers and having with some hummus. I couldn't stop there so I ate all the candy. Dinner came round and I had my salad with extra gardein chik'n tenders. Then after dinner I decided I had to try all the new vegan protein powders I bought while shopping. My stomach was so full after all that and hurt so bad. I took some laxatives.

Laying in bed now waiting for them to do thier thing. My stomach is cramping a little so hopefully soon. Oh and of course I gained 1.2kgs from my sillyness yesterday. Not sure what emotions brought that on as I was feeling strong especially after I controlled myself so well at brunch.

Oh well just need to behave myself today and start again. Problem is after stretching my stomach last night I have woken up hungry.