I feel so defeated today. My weight is up again, this time 900 grams. Wtf. I ate slightly more yesterday but still under 1000cals. I'm hungry and starving myself has seemed to stop working so why not eat. I want to eat normal. I want a sandwich. I was hot fries or roasted potatoes. I must resist. I must keep going knowing that eventually my body will get past this point and the number will go down. God I'm so angry today. Not wanting to sound like a whiney bitch but it's not fair. Plus I've woken up hungry which sucks. I will hold off as long as I can then I might make a 100cal waffle. I feel like something that resembles bad food today and a 100cap waffle with 10cal salted caramel sauce sounds like it'll do the trick.
Hmmmm 2 lectures to listen too and 5 chapters to summarise. I am already two days behind where I wanted to be. Besides watch biggest loser tonight and stopping for an hour to do a mammoth clean I will not leave my desk until I get the basic concepts of economics figured out. I hate economics so much. Still have to study for Law and Accounting. The panic is rising steadily and it is lodged in my throat atm, making me feel like I could throw up at any moment. I did something bad last night. I played around on cam with ex who has a girlfriend. What is wrong with me? I don't want to be one of those women that pursue other women's men. My loneliness is getting to the scary time where I start doing stupid and selfish things to get a feel good to ease the feelings of loneliness :(. Still flirting ith the vegan guy who at least is available but who knows where or if that will lead to. Well I lost 500 grams since yesterday but still 2.5kgs in 3 days is pretty good. Only 1kg away from w...
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