Hi Lovelies,
I didn't want to wake up this morning. Unfortuantly the heartburn wouldn't go away, evidence that I fucked up the night before. I had two rennie, peed and hopped on the scales with dread 116.7 kgs. Gained 600 grams honestly thought it would be more. Was relieved I was still under 117. Not sure why I snapped yesterday. I think it was self sabotage because I was doing well. Had one binge purge session first one in over 6 months. My son and partner were out of the house for awhile so I quickly smashed through a spoon of icecream, a grilled cheese sandwhich, a pb&j sandwhich and two cans of vodka with raspberry. Got rid of that. Was hungry again soon after so had a soup. It didn't work so when I was cooking sausages for my son I put three in for me. Three whole sausages full of fat urgh. I had them on white bread loaded with butter, some aioli and tomato sauce. Now that was bad enough and I wish I could say I stopped there. But no I then also had another 2 slices of bread and butter with a lean cuisine spaghetti bolognaise amd three more vodka cans. Oh and a white choc and raspberry muesli bar. Everyone was home so no more purging could be done. So I lay in bed knowing all that fat was setteling on my body. My stomach hurt and I felt sick. Good I deserved it. That will serve as a reminder what happens when I'm weak.
Much Love,
JB
xoxo
I didn't want to wake up this morning. Unfortuantly the heartburn wouldn't go away, evidence that I fucked up the night before. I had two rennie, peed and hopped on the scales with dread 116.7 kgs. Gained 600 grams honestly thought it would be more. Was relieved I was still under 117. Not sure why I snapped yesterday. I think it was self sabotage because I was doing well. Had one binge purge session first one in over 6 months. My son and partner were out of the house for awhile so I quickly smashed through a spoon of icecream, a grilled cheese sandwhich, a pb&j sandwhich and two cans of vodka with raspberry. Got rid of that. Was hungry again soon after so had a soup. It didn't work so when I was cooking sausages for my son I put three in for me. Three whole sausages full of fat urgh. I had them on white bread loaded with butter, some aioli and tomato sauce. Now that was bad enough and I wish I could say I stopped there. But no I then also had another 2 slices of bread and butter with a lean cuisine spaghetti bolognaise amd three more vodka cans. Oh and a white choc and raspberry muesli bar. Everyone was home so no more purging could be done. So I lay in bed knowing all that fat was setteling on my body. My stomach hurt and I felt sick. Good I deserved it. That will serve as a reminder what happens when I'm weak.
Much Love,
JB
xoxo
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