Maybe I do want help. I exposed my secret to my fiance. I'm totally vulnerable now. I'm freaking out. I'm scared to let my ED go. It works I lose weight. Now I'm scared I'll put all the weight back on. Oh fuck what have I done. I can't take it back now. Fuck fuck fuck.
Happy BIrthday to me......................... Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A heap of friends have wished me a happy birthday and told me to have a great day. Well I won't there is food involved and my weight is not where I wanted it to be. But I plaster the fake smile on my face and say "awwwww thankyou". I am so depressed about today I am 29 and still horrendously fat, who would want to celebrate that? I just want to go to sleep until sunday when mum leaves again so I can avoid all the food and focus on getting thin and boney. Well that is all. JB xoxo
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