I woke up today just before 4am. Can't get back to sleep. My head is throbbing, I'm shaky and have terrible heartburn. I deserve this for being weak. I ate stuff I shouldn't yesterday. I had my low cal waffles in the morning. They didn't leave me satiated but I was committed to not stuff up. We went out to an appointment. My partner wanted to stop at shops. It was after lunchtime and they were hungry. So was I. So I ate. I didn't over do it and chose well. Higher then I usually eat but not earth shattering. Then we found my step daughter a phone on Facebook markets place an hour drive away. We did some grocery shopping then headed there. After we picked it up it was already dinner time and my family wanted to eat. So we had dinner at one of our favourite Asian restaurant chains. There were no good choices. I had a Dahl curry with fried roti (flat bread) the meal was too big and I are too much. I didn't finish the meal but I ate too much and it was washed down with a large sugary drinks easily 300 Cal's by itself.

So after laying in bed for over an hour feeling wretched I decided to get up and do some computer work. I jumped on my scales on the way. I stepped on knowing I deserved the large number about to flash to me. I would use it as a punishment and reminder for my weakness. My weight has gone down 400grams and not up at all. I can't feel happy because I don't deserve a loss I didn't earn it. I'm relieved but feel ashamed because it's undue. I really don't understand my body at all.