4 sleeps to go!

Feeling flat tonight. The stresses of today have worn me down. My cat is ok she got some antibiotics so no worries there thank goodness. Got visitors all weekend which sucks. I don't really feel like entertaining. 

So the re-feeding day starts tomorrow, back on the solids. I am so scared that I'll binge out please Ana give me the strength to resist. I still need to lose 3.1 kgs / 6.8 pounds in 4 days eeeeeek I hope I can so it. Totally depressed that I most like wont get down to the 95 kgs / 209 pounds before he gets here like planned. Today was the same as yesterday only 16 cals. Please Ana let me see a large loss tomorrow pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Well that is my stressy whingeing for the night. Take care everyone.

JB





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
Yay the scales are finally moving. Another decent loss today of 1.2kgs. Only 4.1kgs to hit November's goal. Then only 500grams to get out of the 130's. I totally wish that for 12 months I didn't have to work. That I could just focus on loosing weight and getting fit. But sadly mumma's got bills to pay. Have to apply for a bunch of jobs today. Then have to meet with my job network provider which are totally useless. Then more housework. If I can get enough housework done today then tomorrow I can go to the beach for half the day. So with that I leave you with some beach thinspo! JB xoxo
Read more
Hmmmm 2 lectures to listen too and 5 chapters to summarise. I am already two days behind where I wanted to be. Besides watch biggest loser tonight and stopping for an hour to do a mammoth clean I will not leave my desk until I get the basic concepts of economics figured out. I hate economics so much. Still have to study for Law and Accounting. The panic is rising steadily and it is lodged in my throat atm, making me feel like I could throw up at any moment. I did something bad last night. I played around on cam with ex who has a girlfriend. What is wrong with me? I don't want to be one of those women that pursue other women's men. My loneliness is getting to the scary time where I start doing stupid and selfish things to get a feel good to ease the feelings of loneliness :(. Still flirting ith the vegan guy who at least is available but who knows where or if that will lead to. Well I lost 500 grams since yesterday but still 2.5kgs in 3 days is pretty good. Only 1kg away from w...
Read more
WTF is wrong with me. I binged....... again..... I purged......... again. Lucky the kids were too preoccupied with thier video games. I was able to go into my room, lock the door and turn the shower on and go about my business. But my partner gets home tomorrow and I can't lock him out of our bedroom. I can't lose control like that again. The first binge and purge was planned but this wasn't.  I pushed back eating too far and as I was ser ing dinner I thought fuck it I am going to eat to. It was butter chicken with naan bread so like a gazillion calories. I think I got most of it up in the end I was just dry heaving. Now I have a raging headache but I deserve it for being such a weak fat bitch. JB Xoxo
Read more