Well my aim at eating 600 calories or less yesterday went out the window ate 1107 calories gah. Really finding it hard to restrict atm so I am trying something new this week. Basically any negative calorie fruit and veg I eat, I am not going to add to my calorie intake and use them as free food but only if they are eaten raw. Hopefully this will stop me eating so much non-negative calorie foods and help me feel full. I will know how well it turns out when I weigh in next week. Gah huge day at uni today won't finish til 9pm. Going to a theme park tomorrow with my family which means I won't be able to restrict but hoping that the fact I will be walking all day will help me not gain. Well suppose I should go get ready for uni crap. JB xoxo
Posts
Confused!
Do not understand how I ate 2,234 calories yesterday and finally lost weight after plateauing. But am happy I did now a day restricting to no more then 600 calories and hopefully some more loss tomorrow since last weeks loss of 2.3kgs was pretty poor. Had a huge weekend with boyfrinds kids and got no study done so doing lots of study today. Cannot think of much else to add so going to get started. JB xoxo
Well progress hasn't been great. I have been consuming 1000-1200 calories last few days due to wine but out of wine so aiming for under 500 today. It is 3.30 pm and all I have had is 4 calories in diet lemonade. About to have a 85 calorie soup. Only lost 200 grams since the other day. Hoping for a decent drop on the scales tomorrow morning. Well been getting a good amount of study done which is a plus. So not ready for a weekend with my boyfriends kids but it is the price one pays when dating a dad. At least my son loves his kids and they have a great time, they are just so LOUD. Well one think that is rocking my world atm is Heinz squeeze and stir soups they are under 100 calories and quick to prepare just add water lol. Well going to do some study now. Stay good everyone. JB xoxo
Gah so was sick for a lil over a week and went into comfort eating mode cos I felt so shit and gained 2.5kgs, not too angry at myself about it though as I was too sick too care. Anyways I have been back on my diet for 4 days now and only lost 1.7kgs which is driving me mad. Lost 1.6kgs first 24 hours and only 100gms since then. Haven't gotten super low on calories yet ranging from 650 to 1000. I will get there though.Bloody hungry today though which sucks cos it is only 9am but I will try and hold off from eating as long as I can. Well I have 3 assignments to work on so better go and get started. Hope all you lovelies are well. JB xoxo
Yay finally got through my plateau and lost 1kg. Managed to keep calories yesterday under 300 so happy about that. Not eating too much today is going to be easy as I have been at uni since this morning and won't get home til after 5 due to exam. Tomorrow is concerning though as I will be home all day with my son, boyfriend and his kids so will habe to be appear as if I am eating gah. Need to cime up with a sneaky food disposal method where I can take food into my room as if I am eating it and stash it til I get the chance to throw it away in the big bins. Well better get back to revising. God I hate exams. JB Xoxo
Yesterday was hard. I was hungry all day and then extremely cranky in the evening. I really wanted to binge. I kinda did but managed to stay under 1000 calories, I hit a total of 931 calories yesterday. I am not beating myself up too much over it, it was better then it would have been if I had eaten what I wanted to eat which was mac 'n' cheese and honey crumpets. So instead I scoffed out on pickles, celery, ryvitas and hummus. Then I scoffed two iced donuts, 1/4 of a muesli bar and a 80 calorie marshmallow lolly. I was really craving chocolate because it is my time of the month so in retrospect I should have made myself a low calorie hot chocolate. Oh well it really could have been worse. Still no change on the scales though but I shouldn't complain I have lost 3.8 kgs this week, which I think is something like 8lbs or 1/2 a stone. At least next week I can start exercising I haven't been able to do much because I have been studying for this exam tomorrow which I totall...
Dammit my boyfriend insisted that he would cook dinner for us because I have been so good on my diet all week I deserved a treat gah. I tried to get out of it but it didn't work. Yesterday was supposed to be a 200 calorie day and instead was 850 and now after 3 days of eating around the 800 mark I have plateaued out grrr. So today is definitely a 200 calorie day. Well I better go study now. JB
Well I ate 800 calories yesterday instead of 600 I was starving when I came home in between lectures. I lost another 800 grams so thats 3.8 kgs loss since Friday. I really want to get down to 112.5kgs by this Friday which was my original starting weight. So I need to lose another 1.8 kgs by in the next two days that should be doable since I am so large atm. Another huge day of studying for an exam today well actually for the rest of the week but that is good cos it helps me not think about food. My mum is away atm the moment and boyfriend is at work all week, and son is at school so don't need to worry about food during the day. This weekend should be ok as my boyfriends kids are coming over and that will keep him busy and not focused on me. Well I better go and start studying. JB xoxo
Well lost 3kgs so far so not a bad start. Made a whoops yesterday and misread the calorie count on a food item so ended having my 800 calorie day on my 600 calorie day. So today I will have my 600 day lol it is now the 2,4,8,6 diet for me. Well new uni semester starts for me today gah so not ready yet! Well better go get ready poo! JB
Not doing too badly.
Well I did really well on my 200 calories day the other day and not so good on the 400 calorie day gah, turned out to be more like 4000 ewww. I took my son to a birthday party and they insisted I have cake and yeah then I was tired and decided to get my son a happy meal for dinner on the way home and succumbed to a meal too. But at least I got up yesterday and started the 2,4,6,8 again instead of continuing eating crap like I have been for months. I have tried the healthy methods of dieting and I get more hungry eating 1300 calories a day then I do when I eat 300, then I binge out at night cos I can't handle it. Well today is 400 cal day and I have a huge pot of cabbage soup on the stove. So good that it is a week day again and my boyfriend is at work, he kept trying to feed me yesterday, I just told him I had a stomach ache and didn't feel like eating. I ate dinner with was only 173 calories so all was good, cos he saw me eating and he was fine then. So this is my new pl...
WTF have I done????
God I am hopeless. I have ballooned out of control. I am at a massive 118kg's or 260lbs. My highest weight ever. I have tried to do weight-loss healthily but always fail. Restricting works for me, I enjoy that feeling of emptiness Yes I know it is not healthy and blah blah blah but I don't care anymore, I can't stay this fat. I am going to Europe in 11 months so I need to lose nearly 60kgs by then. If I can average around 1.4kgs per week I can achieve it. I have started the 2, 4, 6, 8 diet today it's my first attempt at this but I have read how other girls have lots of success with it. I am feeling so trapped by life right now, I need to escape into my ED to feel like I can breath again. Wish me luck JB
I am really struggling atm. Been eating poorly last few days. Even when I was trying hard I would overeat at night. I just can't get past the hunger. It is annoying because I know I enjoy the empty starving feeling but my heads just not in that place I need it to be. Plus with assignments just being smashed out one after another I can't find the motivation to starve. Next week should settle down abit. Also will start taking my anti-depressants again as they take away my appetite so I will be able to get my stomach shrunk and my head in the right place. Sadly cannot do that until next Thursday but its only a week away. Well that is my sorry ass pathetic post. JB
A quick post while my man is down the shops. He is supposed to be at work today but he doesn't feel well. Grrrrrr there goes my plans of indulging in a whole lot of thinspo. Well ended up eating more then I should of yesterday I was so hungry. But it wasn't bad food. I consumed 1393 cals but burned 719 walking. So my net ended up being 674 not too bad but needs improvement. I did lose 1.5kgs happy days. Do no suspect to lose anything tomorrow as I cannot exercise today and my expected intake is 1400. Well I think I hear my mans car so better go get ready for class. JB xoxo
Returning!
Hey Girls and Guys, I am back! Sorry I left for so long. So much failing going on. Ballooned back up to 109kgs fuck. Determined to sort this shit out. Well a few thing's have happened. Still at uni. Have a boyfriend now, who was my flatmate now my partner....... Can anyone say awkward lol. So far it is going really well considering we are living together. Maybe cos the sex is unreal hehehehehe (sorry TMI). Tried restricting last week was an epic fail. Kept binging out at night. So going to start slowly cutting down. Projected intake today is 1078 calories and projected burn is 90 mins of walking (540 calories) so total net is only 538 calories which isn't too bad as I have probably been having 2500 cals a day for ages ewwwwwwww fat ass. I am trying to use my relationship as motivation so I can feel sexy when I get naked with him and not omg what a blog. I know he doesn't care but I do. Have had so much study to do gahhhhhh. It is good cos he wants to get healthy and f...
OK been slack and haven't posted for the last few days. besides my lil slip the other night the minimal eating is going kinda well. Getting into a bad habit of binging and purging everynight, that has got to stop. so after my stuff up the other night I didn't lose anything but hell I did not gain so I am happy. other then that all I have lost is 1kg past 2 days. I do not know what it going on, my body is capablle of dropping so much more then this. I am averaging a pound a day. In the past 6 days I have only lost 2.5kgs shit shit shit. My party is in 4 days and I am still looking all bloaty and puffy.Going to drink nothing but green tea today since its a natural diuretic and some laxatives tonight. I really want to drop another 4.5 kgs in 4 days I gotta get drastic. JB xoxo
First post of 2013
Well it has been ages since I have been on here. Been totally off the rails with eating obviously. I ballooned my weight back up to 98.5kgs. I feel like a fat, fat loser. My mother is gone for a week so I am finally getting myself back on track. My party is in 10 days and I would dearly love to lose 10kgs but know it probably won't happen. But fuck it I am going to try to try my hardest. So what else has been happening well after spending more time with my ex I realised how much I missed him and that I wanted him back. I thought he wanted that too, but sadly not. I am sad and heartbroken. I feel empty in my heart but sadly not anywhere else. In fact I have been eating to try to feel up the emptyness but that just makes me feel worse. I am also angry at him. How can you tell someone you are still in love with them when you know you don't want to try again. Mixed messages or what. So now I am determined to lose weight and look fantastic and rub his nose in it. It is a shitty co...