WTF have I done????

God I am hopeless. I have ballooned out of control. I am at a massive 118kg's or 260lbs. My highest weight ever. I have tried to do weight-loss healthily but always fail. Restricting works for me, I enjoy that feeling of emptiness  Yes I know it is not healthy and blah blah blah but I don't care anymore, I can't stay this fat. I am going to Europe in 11 months so I need to lose nearly 60kgs by then. If I can average around 1.4kgs per week I can achieve it. I have started the 2, 4, 6, 8 diet today it's my first attempt at this but I have read how other girls have lots of success with it. I am feeling so trapped by life right now, I need to escape into my ED to feel like I can breath again.

Wish me luck
JB

Comments

  1. Nasimiyu19 July 2013 at 08:55

    Aww honey, I know the feeling! I am also at my highest weight ever and it is just the worst. OMG I am so jealous you get to go to europe!! I hope you make your goals!! Good luck!! I don't want to tell you what to do but you should consider not restricting too much in the beginning. You need to play your metabolism (it's high right now cos of your weight and if you restrict too much it will slow down too much). So don't eat like 200 a day now, more like 1000 a day, then lower it as you keep on losing weight. Should help prevent binging too.

    Anyway hang in there and don't give up!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Josie25 July 2013 at 16:21

    Hi Nasimiyu, yes it sucks looking in the mirror and seeing all the hardwork you have undone, but alas that os life. Hope you are well besides the weight thing. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy BIrthday to me......................... Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A heap of friends have wished me a happy birthday and told me to have a great day. Well I won't there is food involved and my weight is not where I wanted it to be. But I plaster the fake smile on my face and say "awwwww thankyou". I am so depressed about today I am 29 and still horrendously fat, who would want to celebrate that? I just want to go to sleep until sunday when mum leaves again so I can avoid all the food and focus on getting thin and boney. Well that is all. JB xoxo
Read more
She is waking up from deep within my bones. She has slumbered only to wake and growl and grumble at meal times. Quieter and less frequently in the beginning. Now louder and the time between not so far apart.  Recovery is hard and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. I'm not sure if I want it enough. I'm a few kgs up and I can't stand it! God I hate myself. Weak, useless failure.
Read more
Image
So one of my favourite things to restrict with is soup. I am so excited that I found a new soup today that only has 26 calories per cup and is tasty. I think it is an Australian brand but it is La Zuppa for anyone who is interested. Another new love is Aeroplane lite jelly cups which are only 20 cals each. I am in bed now having another cup of soup and tea and sitting on 263 calories today with 315 calories burnt so I am in deficit of 52 calories today. Also I lost another 400 grams yesterday. Well I better go boyfriend almost caught me  typing this post. Be Safe JB Xoxo
Read more