I don't want to go out. I am too fat and look like a beast. I wish I could get out of this but I can't. I want to curl up and have the world forget I exist.
She is waking up from deep within my bones. She has slumbered only to wake and growl and grumble at meal times. Quieter and less frequently in the beginning. Now louder and the time between not so far apart. Recovery is hard and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. I'm not sure if I want it enough. I'm a few kgs up and I can't stand it! God I hate myself. Weak, useless failure.
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