OK well my official weight loss for November is 7.9 kgs. Not ten like I'd hoped but all in all can't complain because I've had lots of slips. Wish I could have lost another 100 grams. I hate uneven numbers they do my head in. Thank god work is only another 1 1/12 week til we break up for the Xmas break. I have another job interview next weekend so hopefully I won't have to go back to this one after the new year's. Well that's me going to go get ready for work and do a few other things before I start work. JB Xoxo
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TGIF! Last day of work is about to start. Only four hours today. I've only lost 500grams in two days. Thinking I'm not going to hit my goal of losing ten lbs in November. Going to take a few extra laxatives tonight to see if that helps. So happy got new phone, now have a way to take photos to document progress. Well going to get my coffee and park at my desk. JB xoxo
Gah it's been like a week or something since I last posted. New job has wiped me out. I also am not sleeping much atm so always tired. The job is shit as I knew telemarketing would be. I have another interview next month for a company I would like to work for. Yesterday I done a bunch of tests for another role that would be good also. So hopefully I won't have to work too long at this place. Some days I've been good with calories, others not so much. Weight has bounced around. Back to 134.3 today. I have 1 week left in November so have to be super diligent. I can still make this goal. Well that's me for today. Going to have a nap before work. JB xoxo
Grrr another 400grams gained. Was doing well yesterday then partner took us all out to dinner so we didn't have to mess the house since the house inspection is today. We went to a local noodle bar. I ordered a prawn noodle dish unfortunately it didn't contain the amount of vegetables as its picture. Other news I got the fucking job wahhhh. I start today in half an hour. I feel sick. Have bought my safe food with me so intake should be good again today. Job Xoxi
This is why I am morbidly obese. I have no fucking self control. I smashed through 1668 calories yesterday. Thought that I might be safe and not gain too much because I was shampooing carpets and had a busy day yesterday. No, my body decided to punish me for being a greedy fat pig. Gained 2.1 kgs. Worst part is I have woken up hungry today. Going to be a hard day today. I will be moving heaps so that has to help. Was supposed to hear about job yesterday afternoon but nope. Still not sure I wanted it anyway. JB xoxo
Week 2 Progress was I Lost 2.6kgs. Not to bad. I am 3.9kgs away from November's goal. I overate again yesterday 974 calories. Lucky I lost 700grams. I really need to get some self control. Today I have a job interview for a job I don't want so feeling super lethargic. It is for a outbound telemarketing role. I don't want to do that I hate when I get those calls. Unfortunately I am too broke to be picky. I was offered to go be a hotel cleaner and I would rather do that then be a telemarketer if only I didn't have back issues. At least I would be burning calories. I am trying to be positive. It would be money. It is more experience on my resume. It can just be a job I do while waiting for THE job. JB xoxo
What a weekend! The weekend was so supercharged with emotion. Maybe because of the super moon. My mum had my son for the night on Saturday. I get a phonecall at 8:40pm, my son is sobbing uncontrollably. My mother had gone and gotten herself plastered again and he didn't feel safe. I went and got him straight away. I was so fucking angry! Livid! Then yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster with my step son. He fought with his father. He fought with me. He fought with both of us at the same time. Come last night and I was so drained. Saturday I binged. I was so annoyed at gaining 900grams that I said fuck it Ate over 1700 calories. I wasn't going to track it but in the end I did. I wanted to be accountable to myself. I gained 2kgs when I weighed in yesterday. I was good yesterday, slightly going over and finishing off the day on 899cals. At least all healthy. Lost 2.5kgs on the scales today. No more nonsense or I won't meet my November goal. I don't expect to los...
OK have more time to post now l. Killing half an hour while other half is in with the physio. Chilling in the car with the aircon set to antartoca and drinking a zilch slurpee. Determine to try and burn some calories. I'm devastated about the weight gain. Almost 1kg. I just don't understand. I only consumed 900 grams of super healthy food. Everything weighed and accounted for. I moved around heaps with cleaning the house and mowing the lawn. What is worse is that I forgot we are kinda kid free tonight so I bet my man will want to go out to eat. Anxiety is rising already at the thought of not knowing the calories and surely going well over 1000 cals for the day. I had my monthly appointment with my job network place yesterday. He asked how things were going and I burst into years. Very embarrassing. Not being able to get a job is totally crushing me. Financially and emotionally. Going to check out a Buddhist place tomorrow night. I'm excited but also nervous about be...
Yay the scales are finally moving. Another decent loss today of 1.2kgs. Only 4.1kgs to hit November's goal. Then only 500grams to get out of the 130's. I totally wish that for 12 months I didn't have to work. That I could just focus on loosing weight and getting fit. But sadly mumma's got bills to pay. Have to apply for a bunch of jobs today. Then have to meet with my job network provider which are totally useless. Then more housework. If I can get enough housework done today then tomorrow I can go to the beach for half the day. So with that I leave you with some beach thinspo! JB xoxo
Hallalujah!!!! Finally a decent loss! Lost 1kg. Which is great considering my partner made me eat a roast chicken meal. Luckily ended the day at 845cals. I have started doing weight loss meditation so hopefully that helps. It is definitely is making me feel more relaxed. After I finish with my post and my ice coffee I am going to do a yoga session. I have decided that I want to learn Buddhism. I have been thinking about it for ages and now is the time. I need to get rid of my toxic thoughts. Other then yoga, I have to go to the shops because I have no safe food left. Then I need to clean as we have a house inspection next week. My boyfriend told me he was proud of me for the positive changes I am making. Hmmm if only he knew. Still better then keep being a lazy fat slob who gave up on herself. Now I am just a lazy fat slob who is trying. I have also been watching heaps of youtube vids on people transformations to get inspired. Now looking for 200cal meal ideas. JB xo...
Stupid body. It is holding onto the weight. I should be dropping decent numbers. Lost the 200grams from yesterday. Feeling nauseous alot and low on energy. I thought the nausea was from having liquid days so now back on solids still not helping. Still I'll persevere and hopefully soon I will see a decent drop on the scales. JB xoxo
Today is the start of week 2. I am finishing week 1 on a depressing note. The number keeps going up. Gained 200 grams since yesterday. I wasn't perfect but I thought I'd still be under 1000. My logged foods were 650cals and then I had a few bites of this and that yesterday. I need to stop mindless eating. I was looking to lose 5kgs but instead came in at 3.5kgs. That is still a good number and means I'm only 6.5kgs off my November goal. I need to stay focused this week and really stick to my calories. I think I will set my calorie limit to 800cals a day max. I haven't had the euphoric empty feeling yet. Going to spend some time on me this morning now that I am finally at home alone. Then this afternoon I'll chuck on the aircon because it is 33 degrees celsius and some music and get some housework done. JB xoxo
I gained 1kg :( and I don't know how. Super miserable today. Decided it is a liquid only day today. So far I have had a fat blaster shake with unsweetened almond milk (168 cals), might have another one later. Going to have soup for dinner. Aiming for max of 700 cals today. My new love is ice cold water with lemon and cucumber slices. JB xoxo
Grrrrr so fucking disgusted in myself right now!!!!..... Stupid fat pig........ I thought I had added something on myfitnesspal and I didn't so that put me slightly over 600 cals, then I stuffed two pieces of garlic bread with dinner and now at 917. Worst part was I ate it because it was there. I am not even really feeling hungry yet. I need better self control then this....... Wish I had some laxatives to punish myself. Must buy some tomorrow. JB out.
Well it is day 4. Only lost 600grams since yesterday which sucks. Aiming for under 800 cals today. Everyone has been home today so I have been waiting for window to post this. Finally got about 30 mins with no one around. I am a bit nervous about this weekend food wise. Especially tomorrow as we will be out all day so not sure how I am going to manage my calories. I might have to be realistic and aim for 1200-1400 tomorrow but at least we will be doing some walking and swimming at the beach so should be good and offset some of those extra calories. Need to find and charge my fitbit before then so I can track my activity. Also catching up with a life long friend. Not looking forward to the 2 1/2 hour drive each way but still it will be a good day. JB xoxo
Day three and so far so good. I am aiming at just under 1000 cals today which will be my best so far. Going from 3000-4000 a day down to this will take time to get my stomach to shrink.Eating lunch while I type this, 3 lite cruskits with half a small avocado, a small apple and a pot of peppermint and green tea. Still in bed with this damn stomach bug that's slowly passing so off the broths now. Ok update Day 1 Tuesday - 140.4 kgs, 1,179 cals Day 2 Wednesday - 138.6 kgs (down 1.8kgs), 1,345 cals (not great) Day 3 Thursday - 137.6 (down 1kg, 2.8 so far), Cals??? Goals for November: Walk at least once a week Lose 10 kgs Should be easy achievable goals to meet. My top 5 reasons to lose weight: 1= Be able to fit into all my cool clothes. 2= Hopefully boyfriend will ask me to marry him. 3= If aforementioned proposal ever happens I wont be a gigantic lump on my wedding day. 4= Not be scared of scales and mirrors (escpecially clothing store mirrors, they are brutal)...
Just read my last post to see what has changed. Heaps....... I resigned from my job and left in early July. I am still looking for another job. I would love to say that since leaving that place that my self-esteem has improved but sadly it has plummeted. I am miserable. On top of that I have almost gained all the weight back. Being unemployed is taking its toll on my self worth more then I would have imagined. I am no longer studying since I finally graduated. Now I simply unemployed. I have had numerous interviews which I have been told that I am a good candidate and that it was between me and another person and they decided to go with the other person. I do wonder if it is weight related bias? Not sure why I keep just missing out. I recently met with a recruitment office and had to take all these tests and group assessments. Got told my test results were really high but still nothing. I am at a loss. I feel my relationship is breaking down and I don't know how to fix it. I ...