It's creeping back in.

My life is getting really busy and my university work feels like it's crushing me. I can hear Ana whispering for me to come back and regain some control in my life, and I think I want too. I miss the lifestyle so much, I miss the hunger pains that would make me smile, I miss the watching the numbers go down on the scales, I miss counting calories and obsessing over every thing that went into my mouth. But the thing I miss he most is that it was my own secret little world where no one could penetrate. At least Ana keeps me company when I am starving myself, I feel lonely whilst being fat and eating because no one likes a fatty. Sometimes I feel as if people are worried if they talk to me or sit next to me my fat will be contagious. Skinny girls don't have that affect on people. I want that to be me!

JB xoxoxo