assWell I stupidly drank lots of wine last night and got the drunken munchies and ate half a loaf of bread. Stupid fat ass. Well Im heading home to crash this hangover is killing me.
A heap of friends have wished me a happy birthday and told me to have a great day. Well I won't there is food involved and my weight is not where I wanted it to be. But I plaster the fake smile on my face and say "awwwww thankyou". I am so depressed about today I am 29 and still horrendously fat, who would want to celebrate that? I just want to go to sleep until sunday when mum leaves again so I can avoid all the food and focus on getting thin and boney. Well that is all. JB xoxo
She is waking up from deep within my bones. She has slumbered only to wake and growl and grumble at meal times. Quieter and less frequently in the beginning. Now louder and the time between not so far apart. Recovery is hard and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. I'm not sure if I want it enough. I'm a few kgs up and I can't stand it! God I hate myself. Weak, useless failure.
So one of my favourite things to restrict with is soup. I am so excited that I found a new soup today that only has 26 calories per cup and is tasty. I think it is an Australian brand but it is La Zuppa for anyone who is interested. Another new love is Aeroplane lite jelly cups which are only 20 cals each. I am in bed now having another cup of soup and tea and sitting on 263 calories today with 315 calories burnt so I am in deficit of 52 calories today. Also I lost another 400 grams yesterday. Well I better go boyfriend almost caught me typing this post. Be Safe JB Xoxo
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