Wow, over twelve months since I last posted anything on here. What can I say, I went away, stopped obsessing over food and got fat, like morbidly obese fat. I have never been so big in my life. At first I didn't care (at least that's the lie I told myself). I was happy, lost myself in my relationship and we both were content and both put on weight. Now I am not so content and it has nothing to do with him. The voice is back in my head........ Her voice. And oh how I have missed it. She opened her bony arms to me and I came running back to her, promising to do better this time, not to be weak and give up this time. the sad thing is I feel so much more at peace with myself and the world now I am active in my eating disorder again.

So there it is I am back. Have been back for a few weeks, reading everyone's posts but feeling too unworthy to post anything myself. Unfortunately my body is rebelling my return and my weight loss has been pitiful. At the moment it is a Mexican stand off but I know eventually it will have to start feeding on my fat, and then the scales will start to go down. Maybe because I am exercising again it is muscle weight slowing it all down I don't know. I brought myself a Jawbone UP24 yesterday and my god I love it. I love how it tells me how many calories I'm burning.

Well have a geeky convention on the weekend and no nice tops so going to see if I can find something bohemian styled that will be a lil flattering on me. Everything looks like shit on me because I look like shit. Well until my next post, take care my lovelies.

JB 

xoxoxo