Grin for Thin

Hi Lovelies, Im actually happy this evening. Had a good day at work. Which is a pleasent change been miserable of late. Not sure how long it will last. I have no idea what I currently weigh. I havent weighed myself for like 8 days and trying not to until the 1st of September. And it is killing me. I want to get in the scales and see a large number dropped. Would help of I could stop binging at nights. I have been really good until last Saturday and since then I havent been able to stay under 1000. Mostly around 1200 which I know is kinda normal woman diet intake but its theoss of control that is affecting. I need to have more self control about what I shove into my big fat gob. My step daughter seems to be getting over her ed before it really grabs hold. She was wanting to eat things like hot dogs and kievs. I wouldnt wish this shit on anyone. I deeply love my ed and I know its fucked up. I am clearly sadomachistic. Well I am going now my lovelies. Love JB xoxo

Hi Lovelies, Wowsers did I self sabotage this weekend. I fucking binged all weekend. I was hungry all day on Fridat. Kept trying to tell myself to hold off til Saturday because I knew I was taking my son to the show and all that would be there was crap like fries. I caved and went to try this local vegan restaurant amd gorged on Fried Kway Tao, dumplings amd steamed rolls. Not going to lie it was delicious but hate to think how manu calories. Saturday I attempted to be healthy and all I had was a salad before the show. Once I got there it was a free for all. I eveb threw my vegan values out the window amd consumed fudge puppies, funnel cakes, fried mozzerella sticks and bbq meatlovers pizza. Then on the way home I stopped to grab my partner dinner and got a vegan pasta as well. Yesterday I didnt even attempt to eat healthy and started the day off with vegan nachos, had a homemade vegan pizza for dinner and liquorice for desset and some fruit and coconut yogurt. Some how I only ...

Hi Lovelies, I'm so numb atm. Which is nice. I dont want to think and I dont want to feel. I gained 300 grs since yesterday. I knew I was going to gain. I kept sneaking lil bites of this amd that and not adding it to myfitnesspal because I didnt want to go over 999 cals. Even though I knew I had. So I steeled myself before getting on scales this morning to prepare myself for the gain. Just need to be extra vigilant today so the number goes down tomorrow. Im planning to go the local show tomorrow so that should burn some cals. My son has never been to a show before so he will love it. He is scared of rides but will want to buy a bunch if crappy showbags. Excited to see his face. Well Im going to vague out on the train now. TGIF. Love JB xo