Grin for Thin

Hi Lovelies, Nothing has changed on the home front. They only notice me when they want something. Right now Im siiting next to ky fiance on the couch writing this with no concern of being caught he is too busy playing games. My whole family knows I have been dieting and no one has asked me if I lost weight in the first week. I have I lost 3kgs. I know I'm fucked up because I actually want to fade away til hospitalisation so they finally take notice. Doubt thatbwill ever happen I cave in to hunger all the time. Last night I mindlessly ate a cupcake because I have been baking them for a baking comp at work. I allocated one the day before so that was ok. But last night it was there and I just scarfed it. At the moment I am not restricting as extreme as I have in the past. My rule is never over 999cals. Im usually around 800-900 cals amd find because I am eating regulary amd lots of salads or soups not overly hungry so that's good. I kinda want to make goals but not date sp...

Hi everyone, Well I'm back on the merry-go-round again. For how long I don't know. I'm not doing as well at work as I would have hoped. I had to move and change schools for my son. Plus now he gets himself to and from school and is home alone for like 1.5 hours everyday. I feel like a fucking failure. The only thing I can not fail at is self destruction in one way or another. Atm I am choosing restriction. Started on Tuesday and have lost 3kgs so far. I think my fiance is suspicious as he hid the scales (or so he thinks) or he hid them away so his daughter cant use them. She has been diagnosed with Ana. I'm not aloud to talk about it with her because I am not her parent.....  No but I have been a constant in her life for the past four years and fuck actually know exactly what she is going through. Ffs I am the one catching all the behaviours and reporting them so the psych can address them to my fiance and ex wife. The thing with suffering from a eating disorder w...