Warning this post may contain TMI

SO just had sex with a friend/special friend and it was not unpleasant but strange. Nothing to do with him or performance wise I just felt so disconnected with my body. The whole time I kept thinking how can I be even more energetic so I can burn off more calories and trying to hide my body as much as possible. Sex used to be the one thing I was confident with, the one time I relished being a woman and was more of a sexpot back when I was heavier. My sexual partners never cared about my body and they loved having intimate times with me because I was confident and not to try and seem vain but I am incredible in bed. I still am I could tell but I had to fake it and no not just the orgasm just the whole affair. It seemed like I was observing it happen instead of being one of the parties. I feel confused by it all. I ate too much today my family were making sandwiches and I said I was fine but then my stomach rumbled and gave me away (stupid traitor). I did a fair bit of exercising today burnt 626 calories but have consumed 902. I know that has left me with a net of 276 which is really good and I just hope the extra exercise and tricking my metabolism up gives me a loss tomorrow. I am going to go watch something now and try and escape reality.

JB
xoxo