Hi Lovelies, Well yesterday was a wash out. Boyfriend came home last night yay. No one had eaten yet so he wanted to take us all out for dinner. I couldn't say no and I secretly didn't want to say no. I could have ordered a salad or soup. I didn't. I ordered pasta, I had garlic cheesy bread, two glasses of wine and ice-cream. We were laughing and having fun and the voices in my head were quieter (damn them). It was nice for a brief moment to feel normal(ish). As soon as I walked in the front door the guilt started up and the voices were loud "Fat, weak, useless, no control, you deserve to be a whale, stupid, fat, worthless". I was so worried that I weighed myself in the middle of the shopping centre on one of those coin operated scales. My shame exposed to everybody. Gained 900grams. Not surprised. Surprised it was not more. Angry because I tried to convince myself I could not be me for a night. I am still far too fat to think I can go eat Italian without cons...
Just a warning: if you're prone to binges, you might want to avoid the Master Cleanse. After one day it make me go crazy.
ReplyDeleteI've never done that before but read about it, let me know how you go. I hate that feeling!
ReplyDeleteSi xx
Hope you feel better soon. That full feeling is awful.
ReplyDeletexx