Hi Lovelies, I hate being me. Well since my post the other day I have fallen apart. I ran at the gym the other day and the day after. Yesterday we went to the beach and I had an anxiety attack because I was the fattest personn at the beach. I couldn't take my clothes off and sunbake in my swimmers. I just laid down on the towel and cried myself to sleep on what is considered to be one of the most beautiful beaches in Australia. Then we drove back with the roof off the car and it was so fucking cold. My goose pimples had goose pimples. I keep trying to not eat much in the day then blowing out at night. I wish that I didn't have to stay alive for my son because I can't bear to make him an orphan. Because I honestly wish I could end it all. Then when my partner picked me up from the train station the tyre blew up. So we waited for 1 1/2 hours for the roadside assistance. Then the fuck it switch went off in my brain and I have now consumed 2400 calories. Well that's me...
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Hi Lovelies, Feeling really stressed and anxious atm. In the past week I habe recieved a $1200 electricity bill, a $1100 vet bill, a $550 internet/mobilr phone bill and I know I am getting a speeding ticket in the mail soon as I know I got caught with a camera the other day. I must find a job or I am screwed. I am also sad as it's my last week at my internship this week and I dont want it to end. I am going to bake a batch of brownies to take in on my final day. Finally been able to get back to the gym twice this week which is thr most in a long time. I am going back today as well. I had a super stressed uni assignment week amd gained 2.5kgs from stress eating. Managed to lose that theb put a kg on then lost it. So now I am right on 25kgd weight loss. I really need to lose the other 5kgs asap as I have been floundering around this weight loss and weight range for months. How can I lose over 17.5 by December the 8th. I would LOVE to be under 100kgs by Graduation. Well I am ...
Hi Lovelies, GAHHHHHHHHHHH supposed to be working on an assignment but nooooooooo stupid phone won't work so trying to fix it. Had to ask for next week off from my internship to get all these assignments done. Oh I applied for this super amazing sounding job so fingers crossed I get it. Other news still fat, always going to be fat. Feeling emo today. I lose a few hundred grams one day and they are back the next and so on and so forth. Even when I eat under 1000 cals so WTF. Other news been back to the gym twice this week so that is something. Sorry I am in a pissy mood so I am going now. Much love, JB XOXO
Hi Lovelies, Uni is killing me. I'm drowning atm. So much to do so little time. Right now I'm trying to read Roland Barthes Rhetoric of the image and seriously it might as well be written in hieroglyphics. No idea what the fuck he is saying. Grrrr hate this creative class I am not a creative minded person at all. I like numbers and analysis. I have twajor assignments due late next week and I think I'm going to ask to have next week off my internship to be able to get it done. Also I don't think I like the fitbit scales. They seem to read vastly different numbers day by day. For instance yesterday they said I'm 118.6 and today up to 119.8. My intake was under 900cals yesterday and I moved around heaps so wtf. I'm finally getting back to gym for the first time in forever. I'll check thier scales and see what it says all I've had today is a large skinny cappucino (80) so shouldnt alter my weight too much. My partner has been noticing I'm not eati...
Hi Lovelies, Gah how long has it been since I posted last I cant remember. Fucking put 4 kgs on since last post. Angry at myself. Started back on my diet again. Going to be diligent so I can lose as much as I can in 3 months until my graduation. Still going to look like a heifer bitch. Still loving my internship. Really hope they give me a job there. Really want to work in search and social media. Totally fucking exhausted atm though. I never get a day off. I'm slammed 7 days a week and lucky to get my weekend sleep ins atm. Can't wait for mid semester so I can live in my jammies 3 days a week. Had some dramas with the teenager but got throughbit and he seems to be in a better place now. Well got nothing else to say. Much love, JB Xoxo
Haha another day at the office. Had nothing to do from 11am onwards. So while I was waitingmfor something to do I worked on a piece assessment due Sunday. Managed to get the whole thing done and submitted so can either have a weekend off or do other subjects stuff. On other news hate the scales lose some gain some. But the gains don't make sense so not sure I trust the fitbit scales. Will go to the gym tomorrow and see what they say in relation to the fitbit ones. Had too small pieces of cake today and part of a chicken pesto avocado sandwhich on top my normal food. Naughty fatty. Wish media partners would stop bring in tasty looking morsels. I am finding it too hard to resist. Oh and the biscuits in the tea room. I have a 5km walk thing I'm supposed to be doing with the gym on Sunday. I haven't decided if I will do it yet. I'm nervous I won't be able to do it. But I guess I should try since it cost me nearly $50. Will talk to people at the gym tomorrow and se...
Hi Lovelies, Thought I'd do a catch up post on my long commute home. God I love working in an office. I really hope I get offered a job after I finish my internship. Absolutely loving my internship and the only critique I have received is that I work too fast lol that means that they are struggling to give me enough work. My superviser gave me a task that she thought would take me a few hours and I got it done in under 30 minutes. So as a critique I'm pretty happy about it haha. So I have been really sick for nearly two weeks. And then before that my back was really bad so have not made the gym for a few weeks now. As I have said before, I comfort eat when I'm sick. So I have been eating whatever I wanted and was terrified to get on the scales and when I did my weight had platuaed thank god. I'm down 1 1/2 kgs since Sunday or Monday can't remember. Eating fluctuates from 800-1400 calories. Can't restrict too hard atm I need my brain I have so many uni assign...