How come even when everything seems to be falling into place I can still feel so alone and lost?
Posts
I am really struggling atm. Been eating poorly last few days. Even when I was trying hard I would overeat at night. I just can't get past the hunger. It is annoying because I know I enjoy the empty starving feeling but my heads just not in that place I need it to be. Plus with assignments just being smashed out one after another I can't find the motivation to starve. Next week should settle down abit. Also will start taking my anti-depressants again as they take away my appetite so I will be able to get my stomach shrunk and my head in the right place. Sadly cannot do that until next Thursday but its only a week away. Well that is my sorry ass pathetic post. JB
A quick post while my man is down the shops. He is supposed to be at work today but he doesn't feel well. Grrrrrr there goes my plans of indulging in a whole lot of thinspo. Well ended up eating more then I should of yesterday I was so hungry. But it wasn't bad food. I consumed 1393 cals but burned 719 walking. So my net ended up being 674 not too bad but needs improvement. I did lose 1.5kgs happy days. Do no suspect to lose anything tomorrow as I cannot exercise today and my expected intake is 1400. Well I think I hear my mans car so better go get ready for class. JB xoxo
Returning!
Hey Girls and Guys, I am back! Sorry I left for so long. So much failing going on. Ballooned back up to 109kgs fuck. Determined to sort this shit out. Well a few thing's have happened. Still at uni. Have a boyfriend now, who was my flatmate now my partner....... Can anyone say awkward lol. So far it is going really well considering we are living together. Maybe cos the sex is unreal hehehehehe (sorry TMI). Tried restricting last week was an epic fail. Kept binging out at night. So going to start slowly cutting down. Projected intake today is 1078 calories and projected burn is 90 mins of walking (540 calories) so total net is only 538 calories which isn't too bad as I have probably been having 2500 cals a day for ages ewwwwwwww fat ass. I am trying to use my relationship as motivation so I can feel sexy when I get naked with him and not omg what a blog. I know he doesn't care but I do. Have had so much study to do gahhhhhh. It is good cos he wants to get healthy and f...
OK been slack and haven't posted for the last few days. besides my lil slip the other night the minimal eating is going kinda well. Getting into a bad habit of binging and purging everynight, that has got to stop. so after my stuff up the other night I didn't lose anything but hell I did not gain so I am happy. other then that all I have lost is 1kg past 2 days. I do not know what it going on, my body is capablle of dropping so much more then this. I am averaging a pound a day. In the past 6 days I have only lost 2.5kgs shit shit shit. My party is in 4 days and I am still looking all bloaty and puffy.Going to drink nothing but green tea today since its a natural diuretic and some laxatives tonight. I really want to drop another 4.5 kgs in 4 days I gotta get drastic. JB xoxo