Oh yay back in the 80's. I have not weighed so little for over 5 years. 500 grams away from my next goal weight which will mean I finally got all the baby weight off. I know this sounds strange but I don't look like I am any thinner. Sometime's when I look in the mirror I swear I look like I am getting fatter. I am sure I will see some difference one day. Yesterday was brilliant intake wise only 337 in and burnt 222 bring me o a grand total of 115 calories for the day. felt so good to have such a low intake again. I plan on today being a lot the same. JB xoxo
Posts
Feeling better
Well I lost the gain since yesterday so maybe it was what my metabolism needed and hopefully tomorrow will see another loss although it can be hard to tell if it is in grams because of the stupid scale. I will have to go buy a digital one again. So been looking at all the diets alot of you girls do might try the ABC or SGD first, I have always wanted to try the rainbow diet but I am not restricting low enough atm to jump into that just yet maybe after one of these I will. I am going to try and get all my study done today and tomorrow for my exam so I can spend the day at the gym Monday stress free. I am glad I binged, it has renewed my motivation for this, food feels so disgusting in my stomach. I don't need to feel full and I don't need that much food. I am out of control with alot of things atm like my motivation to uni is so poor and I cannot seem to want to push myself through it. There are alot of other things too but starving is the only thing I can seem to control. I am ...
Flick the light on.
So yesterday was a dark day and I binged the whole day. Feel better today just sad about that still being my go to response when its all too much. I gained a kg and I am not actually too upset, it was inevitable and I hope it will kick the metabolism and I will drop something tomorrow. Yesterday was not just because I was not losing weight it had been building up for days, it sounds strange but I feel better for the binge it is like I released all the negative emotions that had been welling up in me the past few days. I feel lighter even though I have gained and more positive again. Today I am going to cleanse myself with cleaning my room. The state of my room is always a great indicator for the state of my mental health. It is disgustingly messy so that means I have been very depressed. Other than that I will study for upcoming exam next week. Next week will be wonderful my son is going away for it so I can stay in the library studying, I can do some classes at the gym like z...
Feeling like shit.
Stupid scales and/or stupid body still hovering around 90kgs which is impossible I have to be losing, I just have to be. I am consuming under 800 calories everyday and eating nothing but low fat and healthy foods. I am in I do not care mood today which means I am dangerously close to binging. I am not losing anyways so whats the fucking point. JB
Sorry I have not been posting as much I have been busy with assignments. I have been good with my calorie intake sticking around the 500 cals per day mark. Yesterday I burnt off more then I ate so that was good. I do not like my scales they are unreliable today I got 3 measurements 89,90,90.5 kgs. I would like to think that I am 89 but I just don't know. I am not happy with my weight loss I should be dropping larger numbers then what I am. Maybe I am and the scales are just so shit. Not knowing my true weight is torture.So don't want to go to uni today 5 hours straight :s. Well I better go get ready. JB xoxo
Woot!
So guess who is not in the obese BMI's anymore :) oh and who also is under 200 pounds. I lost a kg since yesterday and all I can say is that it was long due. Should help keep me motivated now. I did succumb to a b/p session last night :s I always worry when I purge I am not going to get rid of it all and I will wake up with a gain, so far that has never happened but still the fear is there. Only major drawback to my b/p sessions is that they stretch my stomach and make me hungrier the next day. I am not feeling hungry yet but then my danger period is always at night. Well I am going to do some cleaning and another 1-2 paragraphs on my assignment and then the fucker is done. I am determined to get it done by tonight so I can have a good night sleep and hit the gym tomorrow. I just want to say sorry to all the lovelies that comment on my posts and I don't always comment back on yours, I just never know what to say. I feel inadequate that I am still so fucking fat and y'all ge...